To Liberal Media, Obama "Stimulus" Is More Sexual Than Pig

Satire by John W. Lillpop

It all began when Chris Matthews, the Nutball who interviews himself while simultaneously expelling drivel and spit in prime time, remarked that he felt "a thrill running up and down my leg" when listening to Barack Obama speak.

At the time, some questioned Matthew's lack of journalistic objectivity; however, no one commented on Matthews' obvious lust for BHO.

Which is odd, because thrills running up and down a man's leg when another young man, of color or otherwise, is speaking means that the hypothalamus is sending an urgent message: This dude is cool.

Cool in a way that is not so cool to homophobes and other Americans stuck on straight!

Matthews' revelation was startling enough, but not nearly as dramatic as the recent column by Judith Warner of the New York Times, in which she wrote about her dream in which President Obama was taking a shower. (Reference 1).

As Warner wrote, in part, in her dilly, "As we all know, in journalism, two anecdotes are just one short of a national trend."

Two questions immediately demand attention: 1)Since when did the sexual fantasies of two-commie pinko biased journalists count for anything? and 2)Is seeing Obama as a sex object now a national trend?

To others, of course, Obama is merely the New Age Messiah. The Savior who will atone for your sins with red ink from that trillion dollar stimulus.

True to his Hawaiian-Kenyan roots, Obama has decided that the formal signing ceremony should take place in a luau party on the front lawn of the White House.

However, rather than roasting a pig as is customary at luaus, the president will announce that the first family has decided to abandon their search for a canine, and will instead make the Pig created by Obama-Pelosi-Reid the official White House pet.

Given the fact that the national debate is no longer about whether or not a Pig belongs in the White House, but is now concerned exclusively with how huge the Pig should be, I have decided to take a short sabbatical.

Which means that I will miss much of the doings of the New Age Messiah.

A compromise stirs in my brain: Wake me when we get to the Crucifixion part, bro!


Reference 1:

http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/02/05/sometimes-a-president-is-just-a-president/